Betty ford says i'm here all night
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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