hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize