The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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