i love accidental penises.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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