I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
