tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
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