i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
