i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
