What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
