I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
