did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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