Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
