Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
