I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
