He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize