just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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