I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's blow job season.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
