do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize