I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
