She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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