I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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