Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
