I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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