my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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