Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
