He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
