just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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