Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
try to milk me bitch
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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