just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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