This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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