if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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