I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
