We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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