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THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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