I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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