is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
