I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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