Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
