hotel room ftw
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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