She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
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Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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