Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
cat food counts as protein by the way
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
