guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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