Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
