Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize