Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
