there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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