I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
