Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
...so i touched it.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
