@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
