i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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