Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
