fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
