Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
