I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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