Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
