dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
