I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
