My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
