hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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