I wish they made helmets for livers.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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