You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize