Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize