I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
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I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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